Unforgettable Experience, Unbreakable Bond

I was scared. What if nobody liked me? As my mother and I drove down the sparkling streets of Stanford University in our blue Ford mustang, I wondered if everything would be alright. California seemed so beautiful to me, especially here at Stanford. Tall trees, green grass, mission style architecture, and sunlight filled the university. As we tried to find our way to the dorm I would be staying in for ten days, my mom kept telling me how much fun I was going to have and all the new things I would learn. Of course, I had signed up for SuperCamp, but as the number of days grew smaller and the moments until camp crept closer, I became more and more scared. Would I be able to survive ten days with 150 strangers? Would I get homesick?

Soon we pulled into the parking lot and attempted to get all of my bags out of the small car. A very nice guy helped us with my luggage and led us through the path and nearer to my dorm. Each moment my heart beat faster and faster, my hands became sweatier and sweatier. This was probably the most daring thing I had ever done in my life. We walked through the entrance, the courtyard, and finally into the lobby area, all the time feeling like everyone in the world was staring at me. I was greeted by shining, smiling faces. I tried to act cool while we went through the check-in line, but it was hard to do. My mom had absolutely no idea I was so scared about going. I picked up my name tag and learned that I was on Team G and my leaders were Christine and Sheryl. Just as one of the leaders was asking me if I had any CD players or cell phones, my cell phone rang. Perfect timing Dad! Now, without my phone, I felt even more alone. Someone directed me to my room and my mom and I put my stuff in it. I was off. Wow! Let me tell you, I did not want my mom to leave. So many things had happened in so little time; I had no idea what I was going to do. It was time for mom to go and for me to be left all alone. After lots of hugs and kisses, and "make sure to write me", she left. I was off to lunch with a team leader and two guys who were complete strangers. I was on my own and even though I was worried and shy, it was up to me to make those next ten days the best time of my life.

Five days later I was feeling pretty awesome. I had met so many new friends, both guys and girls. They were from all over the country and some even from other countries. The "G Dawgs", which consisted of eight guys, four girls, and two team leaders, had become incredibly close to each other. It's amazing how fourteen people can morph into a family in just three or four short days. As my girlfriends and I walked along the Stanford streets on that chilly July morning in our bright yellow SuperCamp shirts, we all decided that we were going to do every event, no matter how scared we were.

I was scared. What if I couldn't make it all the way to the top? These thoughts raced through my head while I was being harnessed by one of my friends. As my turn approached, I thought I was going to go to wet my pants. Once it was my turn I made my way to the ladder and started climbing it. I climbed quickly until I reached the last step and it was time to step onto the disc. While I should have been feeling light and airy, thirty-five feet in the air, my body was heavy and stiff, making it even harder to get onto the disc. After lots of cheering from down below, I made it! I turned around and jumped for the rope. Then let go and trusted my team mates to lower me down to the ground. As soon as my feet touched the dirt, my team and all the other onlookers surrounded me and starting shouting my name and jumping up and down. A cold chill went down the back of my neck and I was thrilled at what I had accomplished and at how much my friends cared for me. I was ready for any other obstacles that potentially stood in my way and I was ready to try anything.

"C.C.! C.C.! C.C.! C.C.! C.C.! C.C.! C.C.! C.C.!," my team shouted as they lowered me down to the ground after I completed the Trust Fall. They encircled my body and jumped up and down with enormous excitement. After all, I had just trusted them with my life, and they had handled such responsibility successfully. I climbed a five foot ladder (and in addition to that you have to add the height of your body) attached to the side of a tree and fell straight backwards into the hands of my team mates. This event was so difficult for me to accomplish because it requires trusting your team members and letting go of yourself. I volunteered to do this event second (after another girl) because I wanted to get it over with. The trust fall is symbolic of many things. Letting go of that ladder, fallings into friends' hands, was a great confidence builder. Accomplishing the trust fall made me understand I could manage the tough times ahead in my life. For me, it signified that I could let go of my fears and my masks, so that I could be who I really am.

The rest of the day, we were faced with many problems and attacked many hard events. As a team, we worked together, and never let someone feel down on themselves. We cheered each other on as much as we could. Together we solved each dilemma and made it through each obstacle. Henry Ford once said, "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." My team never took our eyes off the goal and we made it to the top.

Four days later everyone was faced with an experience that they will probably never forget in their lives. Each person was given a wooden board. On one side we wrote a short term goal, and on the other side we wrote a barrier to that goal. My goal was to meet a new person each day. On the other side I wrote, "I am afraid to let myself go." A little while later we learned that we would be breaking our boards with our hands. After learning how to master the procedure, we split into our team's part of the room. Team G gathered around in a circle and our Team Leaders placed two cement blocks in the middle of our circle. I was incredibly uneasy and anxious. I knew that mentally I was capable of splitting the board, but I did not think that I was physically able.

After all of the guys went it was time for the four of us girls. Alex, the most athletic of us all, bravely went first. With energy and vigor, Alex broke her board successfully. Meanwhile, Ashley, Crystal, and I were secretly wishing that we wouldn't have to go. Sheryl then asked which of us wanted to go next. A few moments of silence passed and I decided that I would take my turn. I knelt down, and with one hand picked up my board, walked two feet in front of me, and handed the board to Sheryl. "Do you want this!?" She held the board in front of me. "Yes!" I replied. "Is this what you really want!?" "Yes!" I screamed once more. Now, turning the board around to my written barrier, "Are you going to let this get in your way!? Are you going to let this stop you!?" "No! No!" I shouted. I felt as if I was a military recruit and my superior was yelling at me, but instead of feeling inferior and petrified of what was going to happen next, I was eager to find out what came next. I was thrilled at the encouragement I was given.

Sheryl centered the board on the blocks and I placed my feet on the floor correctly. I positioned my hands and took a deep breathe. For an instant I thought about turning back. That thought quickly vanished when I saw all of my friends cheering for me. With that I started moving my hands the way we were taught and three seconds later my hand had broken through the board. I did not even realize what I had done! Everyone was screaming and cheering and I had never felt more fabulous in my life. I was clean; I was powerful; I was happy. Never before had I felt that way. Once everyone split their board we went around to other teams so that we could cheer for them. The atmosphere in the main room that day was one that I will never experience again. It was very unfamiliar. It was like everything in the world had stopped moving except for us. Everything was beautiful and magnificent. Light came through all the windows and I was in paradise. Someone once said, "Don't worry about failure. Worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try." Now that I think back on it, I would have regretted it if I had not tried to break the board, complete the trust fall, or climb the pole. I am glad that I did them because now I know what is was like to accomplish them.

"Come on C.C., raise your hand," my friends whispered. "I will, I will. I promise, just not yet." I really wanted to read the poem that I had written during writing night the night before but I was scared I couldn't face that many people. Every night we all gathered in the main room and dimmed the lights. We shared meaningful things that had happened during our time at camp or poems we had written. Beginning on day one I had wanted to get up and share something but I was too frightened by the thought of 150 people listening to me. Now it was night nine, the last night of SuperCamp. Finally, I dug up enough courage to raise my hand, and what do you know - I get called on at first sight. Cautiously I walked to the stage and sat down on the ledge next to two of my facilitators. I looked at everyone, then back down at my paper and started to read. As I read, I made eye contact with all of my friends and acquaintances, stopping myself two or three times so that I could finish my share without sobbing:

~ Paradise ~ I find myself in an environment where I can be me. No one cares how I look, or where I'm from. Everyone listens, and gives advice when asked for. Each person is so amazingly beautiful. I can fully trust all of them with my life. These people are my friends, my family. They are honest and have integrity. In the past few days, my life has changed incredibly. Soon I will be boarding a plane back to the real world, to my home. Where people are critical, harsh, and arrogant. Tears will fall from my face when I depart, for I know that I will miss these beautiful people who have helped me so much, and who love me for who I am.

After finishing my poem, I walked back to my spot on the floor next to my new best friends, crying all the way. Everyone clapped and all of my friends told me what a good job I did sharing. Even though I was crying so hard, I was still enjoying the rare moment. After everyone who wanted to share had shared we regrouped with our teams and started the song. Our song for the last night was "I Will Remember You", by Sarah McClachlan. Team G formed a circle and put each of our arms around our neighbor and sang. Weeping desperately I sang the words, while mascara dripped from my eyes to my cheeks and rolled down my cheeks onto my shirt. I looked at everyone of my team mates, which made me cry harder. I did not want to leave these people who I had learned to love. After the song was over I hugged every single person I had met during my time at camp and thanked them for everything they had done for me. In each hug I felt warmth, and kindness. No one cared that I got their shirts wet, or that I got mascara on them. They were just happy that I was there. "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same. "The people that I met at SuperCamp left footprints on my heart and I will never, ever be the same. They were there when I needed them and I will always remember them vividly, hopefully being able to see them again. On the last night I wrote this in my "SuperCamp Journal":

Day 9
July 13th
"This past ten days has totally changed my life and I feel like I have made friendships that will last forever. There is an unbreakable bond in our team that really touches me. I have learned so much in the past few days and I know that I will use these skills over and over throughout my life. I have become a more mature person and take fewer things for granted. I cherish each and every day that I am alive and will use each of them as an opportunity to try new things. I learned about myself and about others. I will miss each and every one of the people here, even though they laughed at me for saying ‘ya'll', and I know that tomorrow will be sad when we say our goodbyes.

"When I think back on SuperCamp I think of a line from a song by Lee Ann Womack. 'And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance...' This line expresses one key point that I learned at camp. I learned that when an opportunity comes your way, you must take advantage of it because life is short. I hope you dance".